1. |
Ms Alice the Ogre |
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Could drive a drunk sober |
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Then turn him to drinking again |
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But there was a time though |
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When she did not act so |
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Old Alice was normal back then |
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|
| chorus |
Alice Alice |
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Alice was normal back then |
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Alice Alice |
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Old Alice was normal back then |
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2. |
She was a school teacher |
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And during the school year |
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Her conduct was proper enough |
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Until Dippy Daisy |
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Drove poor Alice crazy |
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Which led her to doing strange stuff |
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3. |
Daisy was dippy |
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And Daisy was lippy |
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And Daisy played tricks all day long |
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As soon as the lesson |
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Was fully in session |
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Dear Daisy would break out in song |
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4. |
She was a contralto |
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Or was that an alto |
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No matter. Her voice could break glass |
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Like scratches on blackboards |
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It sent Alice skyward |
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To land bottom up in the trash |
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5. |
"That's it" said old Alice |
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Her voice full of malice |
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"I'm through being nice to you all |
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From now on its my turn |
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To make sure you all learn |
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I'm read to loot, burn, and maul" |
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6. |
And so for example |
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I'll give you a sample |
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Of Alice's classroom rapport: |
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To all in her classroom |
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She lets it be known soon |
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She gets crazy mad at failure |
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7. |
Therefore in her courses |
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She points to her purses |
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Where she keeps her "teaching techniques" |
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Which soon as you look at |
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Will leave you no doubt that |
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Her technique is truly unique |
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8. |
A 357 |
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Could send you to heaven |
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For failing her final exam |
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A steel ball-peen hammer |
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She calls her late-whammer |
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Though no one's been tardy again |
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9. |
And then there's her ripsaw |
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Which someone should outlaw |
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Intended to rip more than wood |
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And for some strange reason |
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All during school season |
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Her class acts unusually good |
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10. |
For no one has tested |
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Nor school teacher bested |
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Old Alice's strange lesson plans |
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And none in her classroom |
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Has dared to face doom soon |
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By failing her lofty demands |
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11. |
Except Dippy Daisy |
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Who made Alice crazy |
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And caused her concern for her health |
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As rumor would have it |
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Dear Daisy is well set |
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And pushing up daisies herself |
